~Muntik ng masanay ako sa'king pag-iisa 🎧
It was just a few weeks ago when I've finally accepted to go on, and move on with my life. It was then that I realized, it was all in my head. I was a whiner baby, I thought about him all day, I made attempts for our daily convos to continue without any dull moment. What my mind thought, the heart doesn't feel.
Nasanay na lang 'yung utak kong isiping mahalin siya't nasasaktan ako. Pero sa totoo lang, wala na pala talaga akong nararamdaman para sakaniya --- in a romantic way of course. 😊😂
It was just a few weeks ago when I've finally accepted to go on, and move on with my life. It was then that I realized, it was all in my head. I was a whiner baby, I thought about him all day, I made attempts for our daily convos to continue without any dull moment. What my mind thought, the heart doesn't feel.
Nasanay na lang 'yung utak kong isiping mahalin siya't nasasaktan ako. Pero sa totoo lang, wala na pala talaga akong nararamdaman para sakaniya --- in a romantic way of course. 😊😂
Flashback --- April 24, 2016
Jollibee, SM Lucena Branch.
I was busy attacking my sour onion flavored fries when he spoke, "Iba ang usapang lalaki, usapang magkabrad, at usapang magkabatch. Sa tingin ko naman, lalaking lalaki ako [haha] para tumupad sa usapan, kaya wag kang mag-expect sa'kin."
It took him two sentences to break my "happiness" from devouring my fries away. I stopped. I stared at him for a moment while he continued eating. Spicy chicken joy, yum burger, and coke. We had the usual. It was like our thing. He acted as if he told me something about the weather. And there I was, on the verge of crying. Yet I managed to compose myself and made the truest, most ancient, but lamest excuse in the book --- "Uy wait lang ha, iihi lang ako. 😂" When I was inside, without being ordered, my tears fell down. I looked at myself in the mirror, and thought, "Kaya mo 'yan. Nabuhay ka ng 18 years ng wala siya. Kaya mo 'yan. Diba 'yan na 'yung sign? Tumigil na. Hindi na uso maging tanga."
After fixing myself, I made my way back and tried to be thy usual self. I gotta tell 'ya folks, it was fvcking hard. I was spacing out every minute, and him breaking me out of my trances. When I can't finish my fries bc i lost the eager appetite, I initiated to leave. Bid goodbye and said my thanks without looking back. We parted our ways.
We somehow managed to remain normal after that. But for me, something changed that moment. Kusang nagmomove on 'yung feelings ko. Nasabihan na e. HAHAHA pero habang nangyayari 'yun, my mind wasn't aware of that.
I was busy attacking my sour onion flavored fries when he spoke, "Iba ang usapang lalaki, usapang magkabrad, at usapang magkabatch. Sa tingin ko naman, lalaking lalaki ako [haha] para tumupad sa usapan, kaya wag kang mag-expect sa'kin."
It took him two sentences to break my "happiness" from devouring my fries away. I stopped. I stared at him for a moment while he continued eating. Spicy chicken joy, yum burger, and coke. We had the usual. It was like our thing. He acted as if he told me something about the weather. And there I was, on the verge of crying. Yet I managed to compose myself and made the truest, most ancient, but lamest excuse in the book --- "Uy wait lang ha, iihi lang ako. 😂" When I was inside, without being ordered, my tears fell down. I looked at myself in the mirror, and thought, "Kaya mo 'yan. Nabuhay ka ng 18 years ng wala siya. Kaya mo 'yan. Diba 'yan na 'yung sign? Tumigil na. Hindi na uso maging tanga."
After fixing myself, I made my way back and tried to be thy usual self. I gotta tell 'ya folks, it was fvcking hard. I was spacing out every minute, and him breaking me out of my trances. When I can't finish my fries bc i lost the eager appetite, I initiated to leave. Bid goodbye and said my thanks without looking back. We parted our ways.
We somehow managed to remain normal after that. But for me, something changed that moment. Kusang nagmomove on 'yung feelings ko. Nasabihan na e. HAHAHA pero habang nangyayari 'yun, my mind wasn't aware of that.
Back to present day --- June 17, 2016
Same time, same place, same table, same order. 😊 But just me. I was willing to let go, to fully let my heart recover from the awful pain it went through. I was ready. 😊😀
Same time, same place, same table, same order. 😊 But just me. I was willing to let go, to fully let my heart recover from the awful pain it went through. I was ready. 😊😀
~Tuloy parin ang awit ng buhay ko, magbago man ang hugis ng puso mo. Handa na akong hamunin ang aking mundo pagkat tuloy pariiiin... 🎧
Special thanks to my very good friend, Ysabelle Cuevas for her exquisite cover of the song. Listened to it while I was doing this blog. Truly was inspiring! 😂😂😊
-Gela V.3.0